"So how does it feel?" The Angel asked.
"How does what feel?" I countered.
"To be mortal." came the reply.
"I know I'm mortal, I've known it for quite awhile," I said.
"I know that," said the Angel. "But how does it FEEL to realize it?"
A very good question, I thought. "Let me reflect on that for awhile."
"No problem, I've been with you your whole life, I'm not going anywhere now,"~ came the smiling reply.
Certainly, I knew intellectually that we are all mortal, temporary so to speak. 'Temporary. For a Time. For the time being.' I am a Time Being, I thought. I am Temporary. Here for a time then gone, forever. In time, out of time.
Does this little glitch with my heart mean I'm out of time? I didn't think so, at least I hoped not. Another day, a week, a year, twenty more, how long?
FOREVER-------¬
Whoa, hold on, that seems like a really long, long time. But, it's not time at all, is it? ETERNITY --------¬
Eternity is out of time. It is the constant NOW. Not past. Not future. Just Now. Being, Now. Just being, Now. That is what you're supposed to do when you're meditating. Being so completely 'In the moment,' that you are, 'In the now,' and 'Out of time.’
Does this make me feel more mortal? Only in the sense that this process of being 'in time,' IS being mortal. So then if I accept that I am 'living in time' I must also accept that I am mortal.
So how do I feel about that?
Well, put this way, I am only running out of time and moving into Eternity. Out of this realm of time, into God's realm of Eternity. Out of this life into a different perception of Now. From a life of past, present and future, to a life of constant 'Now.'
So, how does this make me feel?
First, I'm anxious. Not knowing. Not having the facts. Not having the experience of constant, 'Now.' No past. No future. Leaving all that I have known. Family, friends, memory, plans, this failing body. Not having any control over what is happening. Not being able to change the outcome. It ends the same for all of us.
Can I accept the inevitable? Can I accept the end? Can I accept Christ's offer of Eternal Life with Him? THAT, really changes everything. ETERNAL LIFE. Life outside of time. Life in the NOW of God's Love. I like to think that I am living in God's Love right now. If that is true, I am living, Now. Therefore, I am feeling both truly mortal and truly eternal. Experiencing Both, Now.
When I leave this life, I leave only my past. I leave the future to my family and friends. I step out of time, into Now. Somehow, I feel OK about that, the thought of moving into the Now of God. Being present in the Now, being in the presence of God. Living fully in God's love. Participating in the life of God.
But, as I feel with my mortal self, that is the part that gets all worked up at the thought of mortality, of dying, of leaving this life. The other part of me struggles to see the Glory that awaits.
Now is not my time to leave. I feel relief with that news.
"OK, Guardian Angel, being mortal makes me feel completely human," I said. "I am experiencing all that I am, right now. I feel truly alive."
"I'm happy to hear you say that," came the warm embracing reply. "Living totally Now,
you have eternal life."
